Paint It lovesick
by Lovelikeswift
Summary: That day was forever embed in his mind, a tattoo of memories, of heartbreak, of hurt, of love. He would never forget.
1. Pain

Hi guys! So yea, I know i'm workin' on another story at the moment, but I've always wanted to write a story like this, and so here it is!:) I don't own:/

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><p>-Reviews are love;<p>

Roy's chest rose, and fell, with every fake breath the machine pumped into him. The blankets lay snugly over top his warm, lifeless body.

Edward, stared intently at his dark headed lover, as if he were going to move, and he himself would miss it.

It had been three weeks, since. Since the accident. Three weeks since Roy had seen his adopted son, Alphonse. Three weeks since they had made love. Three weeks since anything had happened. Edward was starting to feel alone, starting to lose hope. Like his love wouldn't wake from his coma.

His heart sank at the thought of moving through the courses of life without his loved one. He couldn't imagine waking to an empty bedside, and empty heart. Hell he barely knew how to cook macaroni and cheese how could he make three meals a-day, for himself and Alphonse. He could see his reflection in the metal rails, he looked terrible. The dark circles under his eyes signaled that he was sleep deprived. His long blonde greasy braid, hinted he needed a shower. But he couldn't move. His days were numbered, the doctor had already told him, the chances of Roy waking now, were slim.

It was all his fault. If he hadn't suggested that they go swimming that day, Roy wouldn't be here. He would be awake, not near death in his wounding state. He would be talking, laughing, playing with Alphonse. If he would have just left the man alone, then maybe things would be normal, lifelike, his days unnumbered. Ed reached his hand across the jail-like bars that surrounded Roy's small hospital bed. He slowly rubbed circles on Roy's sagging cheeks. Ed felt tears slip from his eyes. He slid his hands down the older mans face, neck, stopping at his shoulders. He squeezed his hand tightly on his shoulder. More tears slid down his face, he squeezed harder.

The tears streamed freely from his eyes. He started shaking his hand, shaking Roy's shoulder fiercely . He leaned over, placing his other hand on the mans opposite shoulder. He shook the older man harshly. No reaction. He shook a little harder. Still no reaction.

"wake up..," Ed whispered, "wake up..Roy, wake up..," he said a little louder. "wake up Roy! You have a son! You have to wake up, now!" Edward shook gently now, "Please wake up...i only have two days left with you..please..please..," his voice died down to a whisper, and he couldn't stop the the tears that flowed from his eyes. He raised his legs over the stupid railing, and lay his body next to the unconscious man. He lay his head on said mans chest, listening to his faint heart beat. He listened to every fake breath the man took, humming to it, as if it were a lullaby.

"Al misses you, ya know," he breathed a heavy sigh, " He asks about you all the time, he asks where you are," Ed chuckled, " I told him your on vacation, taking a break from life. If only he knew how serious I was ."

Ed spoke, as a child would speak to his mother, as if Roy were awake. " I regret, interrupting your work. I should have just let you finish working. You should have said something, Roy," he said tracing circles on Roy's chest, "you should have said no. But," Ed hesitated, " I don't regret going swimming, cause' Al sure did love it. He can't stop talking about how good you swam."

Edward thought back to the day, they had ' Taken a break'. The way Alphonse's face had lit up, when he saw the deserted lake. The way he laughed, and played, and screamed, in joy not a care in the world. All the fun he had, had put happiness in Edwards heart. Never often did he get to have fun, outside of the house. The way he had cried when Roy hadn't come back up after diving in a shallow end, made him want to hold the young boy and not let go, as if life depended on it. The tears in his eyes, a look of confusion on his face as they drove home, without Roy, the sirens flashing in the rear view mirror. The way Alphonse had crawled into be with the older blonde, and cried on his chest all night, asking, "where's daddy?"

That day was forever embed in his mind, a tattoo of memories, of heartbreak, of hurt, of love.

O.o.O

Ed woke to the nurse shaking his arm gently. He lifted his head from Roy's chest, wiping the excess drool from his face.

"visiting hours are over," she said, a sweet smile on her face. Ed Kissed Roy's warm lips, getting no response, slowly climbed off the bed, and started out of the room. He turned around to glance at Roy one last time before he left for the night, " I'll be back tomorrow, Roy. I promise."

Edward sighed, as his son ,Alphonse, curled up next to him under the covers. He wrapped his arms around the small boy, rocking him gently, back and forth.

If Roy didn't wake up tomorrow, chances are he won't, then this is what it would be like. Ed and Al alone in this broken heart home. How was Ed supposed to tell his only son that his step-dad won't be coming home? How would Alphonse take it? How would they make it? He could never find another like Roy. Never. Not if it killed him.

"Is daddy still on vacation?," Al asked a smile in his innocent features.

" Yes daddy's still on vacation."

" When will we he be back?," Al asked curiosity in his eyes. Ed hesitated. He didn't want to lie to his son, but he didn't want to wound him with the truth. His son was only four years of age, barely old enough to wipe his own behind, he couldn't imagine how said boy would take it. He could only imagine, the look of pain and confusion, like the day at the lake, that may cross his face. The tears that may escape his eyes.

"I don't know," Ed replied softly. The air grew heavier and started squishing them, or maybe it was just Ed. He felt the sudden urge to lighten the mood.

"come on Al," he said, pulling the boy closer, "lets go to sleep."

"Or what?" the young boy challenged.

" Or...or the tickle monster will get you!" he said tickling his son with delight. The boy laughed out into the empty room, making his father feel a little better. He lay his head, on his dads chest, and started dozing off to sleep. Edward stroked the boys long golden hair, until he heard soft snores coming from the boy.

He looked over the boys features. Roy had always said Al had the same beautiful features as Edward, making him just as beautiful. Edward thought he looked like his mother, Winry. Whom had passed away while giving birth to Alphonse. She never even got to meet him. She would have loved him. Of course Roy was close to the family and had been there during hardships. Edward had started to take a certain liking to the strange man. They got married two years later, Al being three at the time. He was the closest thing to a mom he had, and now he was losing him too. Maybe Edward was the only one for Alphonse. The only one whom was supposed to appear in his life, as a mother, and father figure. He brushed a strand of hair out of his sons face, and smiled. "She would have loved you."

he slowly slid from under the small boy, and made his way to the small bathroom that was connected to his room. He shut and locked the door behind himself, and braced himself on the sink, looking at the foreign boy in the mirror. This _wasn't _him. His hair still held the grease, his face still the exhaustion, and his heart, still the breakage. He turned the water on, and ran his hands under the cold flow that came from the faucet. He splashed his face with water, waking himself from his trance.

He felt the first tears come as the slowly slid down his cheeks. He couldn't hold back the sobs that escaped his throat, and he quietly sank to his knees. He clasped his hands together, and held them to his forehead.

"Please," he sobbed, "Don't take him from me..He's all I have left, you can't take Roy from me. Please, if...if you don't take him, I'll..I'll be a better person. I'll help Roy wit work more, I'll curse less, Just please don't take him.." Edward pleaded with all of his heart. He couldn't stand to lose Roy, Not after he had already lost Winry. If he lost Roy, his life would be an endless maze, he would always struggle to find his way to safety. Roy couldn't leave him. Not now. Not ever.

Well there it is! Hope you enjoyed it.

Reviews are love;

-LLS


	2. Denial

Chapter twooo!

Thanks to those who reviewed, one of those people literally being my grandma.

AwkwardO.o

anyway, I really hope you liked the first chapter, it was sad I know, but if you were effected I suggest you not read the rest. But if your awesome, and you want more, than sit back and read, I'm only getting started!:) I can tell you I have no idea where this is gonna' go so don't blame me if it turns out crappy:(

Disclaimer: I Don't own, obviously.

Enjoy!

-Reviews are love;

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><p><p>

Edward smiled, as he watched Alphonse skip happily through the doors of his daycare center. Al had always loved the place, though he would be starting kindergarten soon, Ed promised his son that he could still come here, and visit, one way or another. He waited until the doors of the center were closed.

The road to the hospital, was long and dread-filled, much like the contours of his mind. Blank. Not a single happy thought filled his head, not since he had been told Roy might not wake. His mind was shattered glass, and he couldn't pick up the shards. He barely knew where to start. His life was crashing down around him, and he wasn't strong enough to hold the remains, if anything the pieces. He still had a long road ahead of him, a child to raise, and he felt he wasn't able to go through it alone. So many obstacles, only so many he can overcome, with Al in the picture, and Roy ripped from it.

The hospital smelt of, sadness and shame. The air was heavy, bracing itself on Edwards shoulder, weighing him down. As he walked down the hallway, that led to Roy's room, he slowed to peer into patients rooms. He caught glimpse of an elderly woman, sitting in a chair, her vision glued to the world outside her window. She'll probably die here. He didn't see how anyone could spend as much time as he had managed to stay with Roy. He could only imagine, having to live here, dying here even. It hurts.

As he walked into Roy's room, he felt a pang in his heart. The man was still asleep, the machine still on him. He made his way over to the chair, the nurse always put it out for him, and sat himself down. He stared at Roy's lifeless body, wishing he could hold him. He knew this was the end, he could feel it. He had felt it coming for quiet some time, now. Things in his life had been perfect. To perfect for him. Love like that never rolled his way. Never. Not even in his dreams. Roy was everything he wanted, needed. He was love.

The nurse walked in, holding a plastic bucket, and some papers. She walked to the ravens bedside, checking his IV, adjusting it. She glanced at large white monitor, for his heart, and started scribbling something down. She checked a separate monitor, for brain activity. Another nurse brought in towels and pillows on a cart. She eyed Edward, before leaving the cart in the room, and hurrying out of there.

Edward watched as the blonde headed nurse pulled a sponge from the cart, and dipped it in the plastic tub. She reached over, and let the bars down that surrounded Roy's bed. The other nurse, a petite brunette, came back into the room. She slowly helped the blonde nurse turn Roy on his side, untying the string on the back of his hospital gown. They slowly peeled it off, as if it were the wrapping of a candy-bar. The blonde nurse, squeezed the sponge over the plastic tub, wringing it out with her hands. She slowly started rubbing the sponge up the mans arm.

"...Can I help?" Edward interjected. The two nurses eyed each other, silently conversing, where Ed could not hear them. Finally the Brunette answered, "sure, just be careful, we don't want to hurt him."

Ed slowly rose from his chair. He walked over to the brown haired nurse hesitating as she dipped a new sponge into the tub, wringing it out and handing it to him. She grabbed a white towel, directing Ed where to wash. He ran the sponge along the raven haired mans body, the chocolate colored hair nurse drying everywhere he washed. It felt nice to touch him in such an intimate way again. He had missed his lovers touch, as well as touching him. He knew Roy would be happy that Ed was participating in such an activity.

After they had finished sponge bathing Roy, the blonde haired nurse got pillows off the mini cart, while Ed helped roll him, onto his side, while the blonde propped pillows under him. He slowly let Roy come down onto the pillows, leaving the raven on his side. The brunette set the railings back up, before loading the cart back up with the dirty towels, and sponges.

He smiled at the nurses as they left the room, thanking them for letting him cooperate. He moved his chair around the bed. He laid his head on the railings studying his lovers features, never wanting to forget them. That was what scared him most. He didn't want to forget, not like he had almost forgotten about Winry. He hadn't forgotten her completely, but she was becoming a blur. Her features blending together like watercolor in his brain. He didn't want to remember Roy as watercolor. He wanted him to be a masterpiece of his mind. His brains best painting.

He sighed as he let his eyes slip close. Pictures of Roy and Alphonse floated behind his eyelids. They were happy, smiling. Alive. Alphonse laughed, as Roy motor-boated his tummy, his fingers tickling at his sides. The boy cried out in delight. The park, made the setting more surreal, the autumn colored leaves swirling around them. Roy picked Al up and slung him over his shoulders, stomping his feet.

" I'm a big scary giant!" Roy bellowed, the boy sitting on his shoulders crying out.

"We need innocent daddy's to feed on, do you see any Sir giant Alphonse? "

"There's one, sir giant dad!" Alphonse cried, pointing to Edward sitting on the bench. Ed's eyes widened in horror. He placed an innocent hand on his chest, "me?" he gasped. Roy started stomping fast towards Ed. "We're going to get you!" Ed shrieked in fake horror, and start-

He woke with a jump, to the doctor closing the door. He watched as the doctor slowly strode towards him, his eyes on the floor. He pulled a chair, and sat next to Ed.

"Hello Edward," he said looking at Ed, his voice low.

"well we have results. Over the past few weeks.." he hesitated looking through the papers in his hand, " we've monitored Roy's brain activity. And it has slowly died down, and now there's barely activity going on at all. He probably can't hear us right now." Oh god. The news he didn't want to hear.

" the best thing to do now, is to..unplug him."

Edward felt tears pool in his eyes. Unplug Roy? How could he? How would he tell Alphonse? He couldn't . he just couldn't. He couldn't stand the pain that would come with it. But by not hurting himself, he was hurting Roy. He didn't want Roy to hurt, not anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut, as the tears flowed freely from his eyes. This had to happen. This was what was supposed to happen. It needed to be done. The doctor put papers in his lap.

"these are the papers you need to sign so we can unplug him." Edward stared at them like they were a murder weapon. The doctor laid a pen on top of them.

"its the only way to make him stop hurting, Edward," the doctor sighed. With shaking fingers Edward signed all of the pages. The pain in him was unbearable. He couldn't stand watching the nurses line up, to move the ventilator from the wall. A million thoughts swarmed his head, making him dizzy. He watched the women remove the tape from Roy's face. He watched them pull the tube from his throat.

Edward held Roy's hand, as the doctors counted the seconds between his breathing.

_1,2,3,_ A breath.

_1,2,3,4,5,6,_ A breath.

_1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, _

No breath came.

The tears flowed like rivers down his face, Roy wasn't Dead, He couldn't be dead. He was alive. Edward was there. His mind was in denial, though he watched it all go down. He never should have signed the papers. He could never tell Alphonse. Never. Not that he had killed his own husband. He couldn't. Because there was no way Roy was dead. He just couldn't be. He needed Roy back, but he wasn't coming back. Never again. Never again, would he see his smile, kiss his lips, touch his cheeks.

OoO

Alphonse Ran out of the daycare, into his fathers arms. Edward smiled a wide smile at his son. This was the only happiness he had left, he wanted to savor it. He needed to savor it, and protect it. Keep it forever.

" Guess what," Edward said as he buckled his son in to his booster seat.

"What daddy?"

"I know where daddy is!" Edward said with fake excitement.

"Really? Where is he daddy? Is he at home?"

_Yea, I wish,_ "Somethin' like that. He's on vacation in a place called Heaven. He can see what were doing. He's keepin' us safe." Edward said kissing his son's cheeks.

"You mean like a cool spy?"

"Like a cool spy," he said a sad smile on his face.

Thats all Folks!

Hope you liked it!:) Review if you will.

-LLS


	3. when It Rains

Chapter three!

Thanks to those of you who reviewed, if anybody.

So the last chapter was supposed to be about denial, but I failed as an author to place that fully into the chapter. So I will try and squeeze it into this one along with Anger. Of course these being the 5 stages of grief, it's a little difficult, and takes research. But it takes challenges to live life right? Warning: There's a hint of sexual content in this chapter, read at your own risk, and please, don't sue me.

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>-Reviews are love;<p><p>

This couldn't be happening to him. This couldn't be real. He was trapped in a nightmare, and he couldn't wake to the reality; Roy was dead.

_No. He's not._ There was just no escaping his denying thoughts, as well as his broken heart. He was locked in a world full of pain, and he had swallowed the key.

He lay on his bed, his hands around his stomach, unable to control the choking sobs that fell from his throat. Alphonse had stayed the night with his grandmother, saying she missed him dearly. He had lied. Again. Lying was the only thing he seemed to be good at. He knew it was the wrong thing to do, as for when Roy returned, he would not be very happy with his partner, for lying to their only son.

He knew Roy would return. He had to come back. He couldn't just abandon his husband and son. He knew he would be home soon, and until then he would wait. Wait for his lover to love him more, and wait for his broken heart to heal.

He stared at the ceiling. He was so sleep deprived. The house was so quiet, and peaceful. He wiped his wet cheeks with his sleeves, and pulled the covers over him. He slid into the darkness of his blankets, his eyelids grew heavy, and his brain was producing stupid thoughts. He let his eyes slide close and he slipped into his sleep.

O.o.O

Pleasure racked through his body, as he felt the other mans still clothed erection, brush against his. His lips moved quickly against the other mans, making it hard for him to breathe. His hands danced down the mans bare chest, and quickly found there way to the front of his jeans. He had waited for this, for so long, and not one doubt, or ugly thought was going through his mind. He wanted this more than anything, and nothing was going to stop him.

Edward thrust his hips forward, groaning into the heated kiss. The friction was _amazing_, and he wanted more. He broke from the kiss, to lift his arms, and slip his shirt off. He tossed the unwanted piece of clothing to the floor, and wrapped his arms around Roy's neck. He placed his hands at the front of said mans jeans, again, unbuttoning them, and sliding the down the ravens legs. He quickly discarded his own jeans, and thrust his hips a little faster. He let out strained groans, as did the man on top of him. His breath quickened in his throat. The man above him thrust his hips roughly, making the still clothed erections, rub harshly. He let out a loud groan, as his nails dug into the back of Roy's neck. He bit his lip, choking back a moan, he needed _more. _Everything felt so great, the darkness of the room surrounded him, and he could barely see his lover's face. It all seemed so real. Just three weeks ago, Roy had been in a coma, and now he was panting above Edward about ready to fuck him senseless. This all seemed like the perfect dream.

He felt himself approaching, as he thrust his hips faster. He fell flat on his back, and just enjoyed the pleasure he was receiving. His heart was close to stopping, he was so close to the edge, he knew he was going to fall over in ecstasy. Lightning lit the room, and thunder raved between them. Now both bare, he needed Roy inside him, heat rose in his body he was drawing closer to release, and he could barely stand it..

O.o.O

He awoke from his heated dream with a jump. _It had only been a dream. _He felt a sharp pain in his chest. It hadn't been real. It only existed in his memories. He felt anger rise up in him. He threw the covers off his body, and jumped to his feet in rage. He kicked his foot against his nightstand. He pushed all of the items that sat on said stand, onto the floor, harshly. He was losing it. How could Roy leave him? What could possibly so important in heaven, that he had to leave his family?

Nothing. Family was the most important thing. From know on, Edward had to spend every Thanksgiving, Valentines Day, even Christmas, Alone. It would be the most horrible thing to cope with. And he couldn't do it. He would break in the process , holding pressure under pleasure.

Roy had just up and left, for his own pleasures, not caring if he had things in life that were worth anything. He could have at least said good bye first. Did Roy have any idea what it was like, for Edward to have to lie to their son? It hurt Edward beyond belief.

Suddenly he felt alone. At first he had been happy to have alone time, and alone time had turned into lonely time. He longed for Alphonse. What a terrible father he was, picking the boy straight up from Daycare only to drop him at his grandmothers. No wonder Roy left.

O.o.O

Thunder boomed around their tiny car, as Alphonse lay asleep in his booster asleep. Ed had given in and had gone and picked up his son in the middle of the night. Darkness was turning into light, as the rain slowly let up. Dark blue was mixing with with a dull pink as he pulled into his driveway. He unfastened his son from his booster seat and quickly carried him inside. He lay the sleeping boy on the couch and fetched his blanket from the bed. He lay with the small boy.

He wrapped his arms around the small child. How could he tell him? The boy seemed so fragile, as though the truth might shatter him. But just as Ed, the boy would have to cope with the new way of life. Edward had to strong for his son and strong for himself, and for Roy. He couldn't dare think about the future, if he should find someone like Roy and do whats best for Al. In the back of his mind he knew that there would never be anyone like Roy. He would never love the one way he had before.

The young boy in his arms started to stir, making soft noises as his body woke. He glanced at his father in surprise, a small smile on his face. Edward pulled the young boy into his lap, facing him, as the boy lay his head on his fathers chest. Ed stroked the boys long blonde hair, twirling it around his fingers. The boy had hair had hair just like his mother.

"Daddy..dad's not really on vacation is he?" the boy heaved a sigh.

Edward froze. How could the boy know such things?

"Where did you get an idea like that?" Edward could only imagine.

"Well Grandma said," oh boy, "that she sure misses grandpa. And when I asked where he was, she said the same place dad is."

Edward never should have taken his son to his mothers house. He regretted leaving his son in such a time like this.

" she said that only angels live in heaven. And that daddy and grandpa are the best angels that live there."

He could hear the boys voice crack. This was all wrong. Alphonse didn't need to know, and there was no way he would let his son believe Roy was gone.

Alphonse's Tears stained his fathers shirt, to Edwards horror. This pain was worse than anything he had ever felt before. He lifted the boys face to level his own, and wiped his tear stained cheeks with his thumbs. He kissed the boys forehead. He pulled his son to his chest. They cried until their tear ducts were dry riverbeds.

Alphonse sighed and looked at his daddy before saying, "Why would daddy leave without saying goodbye?" Edward smiled at his son, though it wasn't a very funny question.

"He never really left. You 'll see him again one day, and guess what?"

" what?" the boys voice rose in excitement, the sad scene out of his mind.

"Where daddy is, it's summer everyday. So we'll always go swimming."

Well thats all I have in my brain. I hope you enjoyed!

-Reviews mean presents;

-LLS


	4. Christmas cookies

Chaapter 4.

So happy new year and stuff. The ironic thing about this story, is that is really happening minus the death part. My grandpa was put in a coma a week ago, today. And all I could think was that it was similar to my story. He's okay now. But I'm not sure what I did to deserve a scare like that. Now I understand the pain that my character is going through. Thank you Kuchipatchi2297. It means so much to me.

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>-Reviews are love;<p><p>

If there was one word he could use to describe the funeral, it would be black. Everywhere he looked he saw black. Men in black overcoats, women in black dresses. He saw faces he had never seen before , people that worked with Roy, he guessed. Every one here was different, yet all the same. They had known and loved Roy, just as Edward had.

He had never met these people, yet he felt they had been close for years. A heavy feeling painted the outside scene. Tears slid down his face as Roy's mother, Tina, Squeezed his hand. The coffin lid was open, revealing Roy's distilled body. It was taking everything Edward had not to lose control. Here Roy was, right in front of him, the last time he would ever see his lover, and he was standing, crying like an idiot.

Edward suddenly felt his feet taking him towards Roy. Every second he was growing closer to his dead lover. He could feel the Florida sun burning down his back, urging him forward. Everything was moving in slow motion, a blur in his head. Time had seemed to stop, making him dizzy.

He reached out and ran his fingers over the cherry wood casket, tracing the expensive design. He could feel the stares of the people behind him, burning holes in his back. His hands were shaking, as cupped Roy's cold cheeks. His face was peaceful, as if he were sleeping, if only.

Silent tears, escaped Edwards tired eyes. His heart was pounding, his head swimming, he was ten miles ahead of himself. A slow motion scene played out, and he felt himself inching closer to Roy's face. He gasped when their lips met, as if it were there first kiss. A rush of emotions, sent a lightning bolt through him, and rocked right to his toes. He stole the last kiss he would ever get, and it couldn't have been better. Though Roy's lips were unresponsive, Edward would remember it. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his chest, as he glanced at Roy's face.

All of the pain he had denied, the death, accident, Alphonse finding out, everything crashed down on him. Suddenly the air was ten times heavier, he couldn't breath, he was suffocating. He needed to find his was out. He ran back to Roy's mother, worry creased in her face. He grabbed her hand, pulling her out of hearing distance. She looked at him with a questioning glance.

Wiping his tears he said, "Tina, I can't stay here. I can't watch as they put my husband in the ground, I can't do it," her face softened. Her face was understanding, she knew. "I'm going to go pick up Alphonse, I-I need a distraction, I-I-I can barely breathe, I need to get out of here." word came like a waterfall from his lips, he couldn't stop them from spilling over.

Tina placed her hand on his arm, making him stop talking, she smiled softly, "It's not going to be any easier for me, watching them put my son six feet under. But I know how you feel, and you need to go take care of that baby." she squeezed his arm, "just go home and get some rest, you look like shit, and you need to take care of Alphonse." she smiled sweetly. Edward could tell she was only trying to lighten the mood that had washed over and hypnotized everyone. He smiled back.

He glanced around at everyone, who was focusing on the body. Every face was worn, like leather, and showed grief and pain. That's when he knew they all shared one thing; they shared pain, love, and misery. He felt at home with this group of strangers, and as he smiled at everyone who caught his eye, his heart beating at the few who smiled back. In the corner of his eye he saw something that caught his eye; a flash of bright blond hair, just like Winry's. He whipped his head around, and spotted her, sitting in a chair, crying like the rest of them. His heart was screaming in his chest, as he ran towards her, he grabbed her shoulders, shaking her, "Winry! What are you doing here...", his voice died down when he saw a young teen girl, a horrified look on her face. "I'm incredibly sorry ma'am, I thought you we're someone else." he turned, ignoring the looks, and started walking to the exit. With nothing but his memories, he left, never wanting to look back.

O.o.O

**Six months later**

Baking flower flew through the air, and landed right on Ed's head. He couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped his throat, as he watched his sons attempt at making cookies for Santa. That first was one of many, since the funeral. He thought he was going crazy, and breaking down, and seeing Winry, had proved his brain right. Everyday since, he blocked images from his head. He learned to ignore the pain in the outside world, and focus more on his happy life. Nothing was about him anymore, it was about _them. _He and Alphonse had to move on together, and not look at the past, like it was a terrible thing. They weren't the only ones hurting; everyone did. Everyday.

Ed placed the cookies on a decorative Christmas tray. Alphonse trailed behind him as they made their way into the living room. The small room had been done with big decorations; Alphonse had hung stockings over the chimney, being sure to include Roy's, with thumb tacks, Edward had offered a stool, Alphonse claimed he was too old to use a stool; they were for babies. They had hung Christmas lights, around the living room, and the the outside of the house. The air had been cold, crisp, and perfect. A soft, cold, thud made Edward jump. He spun around to see Alphonse, a snow ball in hand.

Edward smiled at the memory, all the fun they had had that day, showed that things might just okay, Even if Roy was out of the picture.

"Look daddy," Alphonse was drawing pictures to put on the cookie tray, "I drew us!"

Edward gathered his son in his arms, hugging him close. The boy had been excited about Christmas, ever since Ed had got back from the funeral. For the past six months, all he had talked about, was what he wanted for Christmas; firetrucks, police cars, a new bike, and other things that Ed couldn't keep up with.

Ed started for the hall, Alphonse wrapped his arms around his fathers neck, holding on for dear life. Alphonse had wanted to move his room downstairs, claiming he could see Roy standing in his doorway at night, which scared the child half to death. Edward had given the boy the small guest room downstairs, hoping it would soothe the young boy. It had for a few nights, until he started talking about Roy watching him again. Now Alphonse slept in Edwards bed every night, and Ed found he didn't really mind. There would be nights when he would lay and listen to the boys breathing, just for the hell of it. He was scared that the boy would fade too, if Ed didn't keep a tight grip on reality, and his son.

He pulled the covers back, and lay his son down. He crawled in beside Alphonse, and held him once again. The house was quiet. The world was quiet. He felt Alphonse drawing near sleep, and his body relaxed a little bit. He thought back to the funeral. He knew he had seen Winry. A face like that, couldn't be mistaken. He felt himself starting to drift..

"Daddy, do we have to move?", the question took a Edward by surprise. The crayons that ran over the paper, was the only noise that could be heard, for a while. He watched his son draw. He sat on the floor, his drawing crayons and paper, sat on the table. He hadn't planned on moving anytime soon. There was nothing wrong with the house, he didn't think. It was nice affordable, and besides that a little creep at night, but that didn't matter.

"Why don't you want to move, Alphonse?" His son looked up at him.

"Cause I like it when Daddy watches me while I sleep." He dropped his face back to his paper, the comment out of his mind. Edwards heart leaped out of his chest. What did he just say?

" Honey I told you, daddy isn't comin' back." Ed tried to keep his voice calm.

" He's been back, dad. He's standing in the door way right now." Al turned his head to the living room door. Edward didn't believe his ears, was his son losing it, too? Maybe he just missed Roy more than he showed.

Ed turned his head and looked at the door. He gasped as Roy smiled back at him...

A small snore, woke Edward. He was happy to be out of that _nightmare_. He let go of his son, and tip-toed out of the room. He shut the door behind him, and made his way to the living room. He looked at the tall Christmas tree in the middle of the room. Something was missing...Presents! He mentally slapped himself for forgetting such and important thing. He ran to the hall closet. One by one, he placed the boxes under the tree. He had wrapped them alone this year, so they weren't as good as the previous years. He place them in an uneven order, making them seem sloppy. He stepped back, and patted himself on the back. They looked good.

He placed the cookie tray, on the coffee table, with a glass of milk. He picked up one of the cookies, and started nibbling on it. He was happy; for once. Things were starting to get back on track, his son was getting older. He couldn't help but feel things were missing. Roy was missing out on this everyday, though he knew Roy, was Probably still around, he still longed for him.

Edward grabbed another cookie, and the letter to Santa with a picture drawn at the bottom of it. He read the letter, a small smile spreading across his face, as he read the sloppy writing of his son:

_Dear Santa,_

_I really want a fire truck, although I saw one in the hall closet, but don't tell daddy._

_I want everyone to be happy on Christmas, like me and my daddy. Though sometimes I hear him in his bedroom crying sometimes, he never cries in front of me. I wanna be just like my daddy when I grow up. Daddy says that Ill be starting kindergardon soon and I want a backpack, so daddy doesn't have to spend alota_

_money on skool stuff. I also want you to bring my other daddy back. I can tell it makes daddy sad when we talk about him. _

_I luv you Santa. _

_al_

Edward smiled at the misspelled words. All through that night Al had to keep asking how to spell things, and what goes where. Edward looked at the picture at the bottom of the page. There were three figures in the picture. Roy, Edward, and Alphonse was in the middle.

That was hard, yeah? Well, I should have the next chapter up soon. I'm sad to say it will probably be the last chapter. But looking back at this story, there was some memories mad in the makin'.

-reviews are love;

-LLS


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